Everyone goes through changes in their lives and I feel like I have now got to a point where I am 100% me and at the point where I want to be in myself. Recently, I have really grown as a person and I have learnt a lot about myself, embraced everything about me and can now move forwards in my life to achieve goals I set (but that’s a post for a different day!) It’s sometimes nice to get things down in a blog post for both me and you guys, I always write for you to read but sometimes it is nice to have this space where I can just type and get things off my chest (which may consequently help you) and be able to look back and read it when I feel I need to. So enough waffling, today I want to share some of the things I’ve learnt about myself.
I’m always honest where it is a good thing or a bad thing
Whether it is with an outfit someone is wearing or life advice, people can always rely on me to be the honest one (and that’s how I am known.) I just don’t see the point in telling people what they want to hear, if that is not how you truly feel. Yes, this causes me some problems in some situations but then I always believe I cannot and will not change the person I am. If you don’t want honesty in your life then I’m sorry, I cannot offer you the lie you were looking for. With this said, I have learnt how to control my honesty and I have gone from saying things completely as they are, to being able to process in my mind first, before I blurt it out. So if you ever need an honest opinion, you know where to come.
I have a tough exterior until you really mean something to me and then I’m a massive softie!
I have often heard that people who don’t know me, find me intimidating or think I am tough and don’t like them and then once they have got to speak to me and know me, they realise this really isn’t the case at all. I am actually a softie with a big heart who loves to be around people, making friends and feeling loved – I just leave my guard up sometimes. I will honestly do anything for the people who mean a lot to me which is probably why I get hurt by people. I guess the moral of this story is I need to lighten up my face – I have a naturally miserable looking face! And I want you guys to know the real, slightly weird me… so never feel like you cannot approach me for a chat.
I bottle up my emotions and struggle to talk about myself
It’s the age old thing when people ask me what’s the matter or what’s wrong and I tell them nothing. The people who are really close to me know when there is something wrong and know exactly how to get me to tell them but anyone else, I’ll tell them I’m fine and move on. My boyfriend recently asked me why I struggle to talk about myself so much when it is everything I learn at university, since I study social work. But that’s exactly the reason why I can’t, I am trained to sit and talk to about other people’s problems and emotions and not my own. I channel my own emotions so it doesn’t affect my daily life. I know it is something I shouldn’t do and I should talk more but I bet I am not the only one who does this. If I really need to talk – people will know.
Fear is just fear in itself
I think I fear something until I put myself in a position where I cannot get out of it. I over thing everything and this means I can often talk myself into fearing a situation before I have even got there – I don’t rationally or logically overthink but then I don’t think anyone does do they?! If you do, teach me! I am not saying a fear is just a mental state (because it most definitely isn’t) but I know that I personally build the situation up in my head and make it 100% worse so with a little bit of help I can totally overcome it.
I can push myself further than I thought; I am capable of a lot more than I thought when I put my mind to it!
Most of the time I will never believe I am ever any good at something and will only do what I know I can do, in worry that I will fail. Starting university, I was in the mindset that I would settle for a grade as long as I passed, but having continually worked hard and pushing myself I have come to the realisation I can achieve much more than I thought. Yes, something may not come easy or naturally (studying definitely doesn’t for me) but with some hard work and pushing yourself you will be able to achieve more than you thought.
It may be a boring read for some of you and for that I apologise but sometimes it is nice to get these things written down as a chance to realise how far you have come. Some of these things may seem like negative personality traits – but no one is perfect eh?! I’m by no means the perfect human, but I am happy with myself and I hope you guys are happy with yourselves too! Have you learnt anything about yourself recently? If you have please share, I love to know. No doubt I’ll look back on these and they’ll change again, but without change nothing can change! Thank you for taking the time to read my jibber jabber, if you got to the end! I hope you are having a lovely week!